


Chocolate Draco

by why_me_why_not



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:08:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_me_why_not/pseuds/why_me_why_not
Summary: Draco's turned chocolate! Can The Boy Who Lived counteract this spell?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Chocolate Draco

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted June 26 2007 for slashfest. K's prompt was _Draco is somehow turned into a chocolate-covered Malfoy. Hogwarts is on a chocolate kick, and Harry has to save him from being devoured by the entire school by wisking him away and somehow free Draco from his sweet prison with lots of hate!sex and licking. Crackfic at its finest!_ The finished fic kinda deviated from the prompt. Actually, it deviated quite a lot. Normally I'd feel bad about that, but I feel the need to point out that K is my Sunshine and she actually helped with some of the deviation, so it's all good.

Draco glared up at the ceiling, wishing it would crumble and fall and save him from this place. Being stuck here with Potter and all his little friends was enough to drive him mad. He would rather still be on the run from Voldemort, but Severus had insisted on dumping him here. Bugger all.

Potter scared him. After the incident at Hogwarts - _Draco could've died!_ \- it was understandable, of course, but what made it worse was that Potter was always trying to talk to him, all nice and polite and friendly. Draco was convinced he would wake up one night and find Potter in his bedroom, about to murder him in his sleep.

And as if it wasn't bad enough having to spend most of his days with The Boy Who Lived To Antagonize Draco, there was also the Mudblood, Weasel, Weaslette, and Longbottom, who had been dropped at the house when his Gran had taken ill. At least they tended to avoid him. He didn't want to consort with their Gryffindorselves anyway.

The adults were even worse. Mrs. Weasley's constant rushing about the kitchen made him dizzy, and quite honestly disgusted. _His_ mother certainly would never prepare supper herself, let alone let herself be covered in flour. Plus, it was a wonder they weren't all the size of Hippogriffs the way she was constantly cooking fattening peasant food. Mr. Weasley's constant blathering on about all things Muggle made Draco want to bash his head against the wall. There was also the former DADA teacher - Lupin - who was a werewolf. A werewolf! How Severus could have ever thought Draco would be safe here was beyond him. And that strange Auror - the one who supposedly had Black blood but was not related to Draco in _any_ form - who kept mooning over Lupin, constantly dogging his steps where ever he went.

And then there were the Mirrored Maniacs, causing more mayhem in the house than a barrel full of cornish pixies. Draco didn't want to admit to the grudging respect he had for them, but it was still there, even as he went out of his way to avoid them on the rare instances when he did leave his room.

It was too much to ask that he be able to evade the sneaky duo today. As he was returning to his room after lunch, the twins were perched at the top of the stairs.

"Hi, Draco," the brothers said in unison.

"Pardon me," he said, with as much politeness as he could muster, and then attempted to maneuver around them to return to the safety of his room.

"Not so fast, Malfoy." The way they responded in unison and the gleam in their eyes unnerved him a bit.

One of the twins -- Draco thought it was Fred -- stood up on the step between his brother and Draco. "We were wondering if you'd be interested in a little business venture."

The twin he thought was George snickered, but Draco was listening. He always perked up wherever Galleons and Sickles were involved, especially since his familial funds were currently unattainable.

"We have a new product we're developing for the shop, but we're not sure how well it's working. Normally, we could just test it on ourselves, but this spell is too complicated for just one of us to monitor. If you'll be our test bunny," Fred continued on with George snickering, "we'll make it worth your while. Say, one-tenth of the profits?"

Draco considered the offer. As intriguing as the offer was, he wasn't sure whether he was willing to risk harming his silky blond hair or clear complexion just to quench his desire to know the inner workings of comical genius minds.

In the end, though, he gave in. After all, the twins had quite a market for their novelties, and even if their product flopped, it would still make them a nice sum of money first. Draco was thinking of the future, already mentally investing the money in getting out of this place and away from these people.

The kitchen was surprisingly empty, and Draco wondered briefly where Mrs Weasley had gone. He didn't have time to think about it, though, because Fred and George were waiting on him. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that whatever happened was temporary and necessary to his sanity.

One of the twins -- the one Draco believed to be George -- handed him a chocolate bunny, like the type that Draco knew came in Muggle Easter baskets. Draco studied it for a moment before biting its ears off. The chocolate was smooth and sweet, and melted on his tongue, and he wondered what the twins had laced it with since he couldn't taste anything out of place.

He was a bit unnerved by the fact that the twins and the Weaselette were all studying him, but he finished the bunny and stood there expectantly. "Now what?"

The twins snickered and pointed at his arm. Draco held his hand up in front of him and watched in rising horror as a light brown coloring creeped along his skin, up his arm. He sputtered but couldn't find the proper words to convey what he wanted to say, so he shut his mouth.

He felt a tingling along his limbs and realized in that his entire body was probably now tinted brown. He glared at the twins.

"Ginny," one of the boys said, "care to do the honors?"

Ginny grinned and hopped down from the stool she had been sitting on. Draco flinched when she stepped into his personal, no-Gryffindors-allowed space but managed to not move. When she rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her tongue to the side of his neck, however, he spun away and put the counter between them.

"What the bloody hell?"

Ginny just smirked at him and licked her lips. "Tastes just like chocolate. I think you finally got the formula right."

Draco stared at the others as if they were crazy, which of course they obviously were. The whole family belonged in the Janus Thickey ward at St Mungo's. Draco was trying to formulate a plan when thundering footsteps on the stairs drew everyone's attention.

Hermione stormed into the kitchen, Ron close on her heels. "I am not PMSing, Ronald! There are plenty of other reasons for me to be moody and irritable, especially with you around! I don't know how you managed to remember that Muggle term anyhow, since you can't even remember our anniversary! And why is there no chocolate in this house?!"

Everyone was silent, watching Hermione warily, until Ginny ventured, "Draco tastes like chocolate."

Hermione turned a predatory gaze towards Draco. He felt cornered and panicked, and when one of the twins whispered, "I'd run," he thought it was a good idea and took off.

He really had nowhere to go though, and he could hear Hermione on the stairs behind him. He couldn't lock his bedroom door, even with magic, so that was out. He passed through the hallway and stopped short when he noticed Potter's bedroom door standing slightly open.

Potter had been nice to him lately... maybe he really had meant it as a friendly gesture? Draco ferverently hoped so as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind himself.

Potter looked up from his book, surprised. "Draco?"

Draco deliberately ignored the use of his first name and listened for any noise from the hallway.

"I have a silencing spell around my room," Potter said, as if he knew what Draco was thinking. "We can't hear anything from the hallway, and anyone outside the room can't hear any noise from inside here."

Perfect. So he'd escaped the Mudblood but walked right into the perfect opportunity for Potter to murder him without witnesses.

"What happened to you?"

Draco shook his head to clear the dramatic images of his own demise. "The Mirrored Maniacs. They asked me to try out some new product, and _this_ is what happened. Then their sister _licked_ me. And now Granger is trying to eat me."

"You didn't ask about the effects or the antidote before you tried it?"

Well, no. Draco had been too focused on how he was going to use the profits to escape, and he was pretty certain the twins wouldn't do anything that would cause him permanent damage, like poisoning him. He realized now how foolish, reckless, _Gryffindorish_ he had been. He had definitely been here too long. "Stop laughing, Potter."

Potter bit his lip but Draco could still see the amusement in his eyes. He kind of wanted to hit him, and he kind of wanted to kick himself for coming to Potter in the first place.

"C'mere, Draco." Potter held out his hand expectantly, and sighed when Draco didn't move. He stepped forward and took Draco by the arm, steering him towards the bed. "Did you know I'm part owner of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes? I gave them my winnings from the Triwizard Tournament to help get them started." His tone was conversational and light, like they really were friends, like Draco wasn't in a dire situation. His beautiful, pale skin was the color of cocoa and he tasted like chocolate, for Merlin's sake! He was about to insist upon a point to Potter's ramblings when Potter pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed and smiled at him. "Means I'm kept informed about new experiments and products, like the chocolate bunny."

"So how long does it take to wear off?" Draco demanded.

"That's the thing. It doesn't wear off."

"What?!" Draco squawked. "You mean I'm stuck like this?!" This was such a bad arrangement; why did he ever trust those two loons?

Harry laughed. "Calm down. It doesn't wear off on its own, doesn't mean it's permanent."

Draco scowled. Sometimes Potter made no sense at all. Idiot.

Potter reached for Draco's hand and lifted it to his mouth, eyes locked with Draco's as he licked a wide stripe across his palm.

Draco jerked his hand away and almost expected to see a red trail where Potter's tongue had been. Instead, there was a strip of white, the pale skin Draco was used to.

Draco groaned and closed his eyes. Licking? He was going to look like cat giving itself a bath, which was totally undignified. And he was unlikely to ever see any profit from this, because what was the point in a product that coated you in a chocolate illusion that had to be licked off?

Oh. OH!

When Draco opened his eyes again, Potter was standing much too close, watching him closely. Draco was still stunned, enough that he let himself be pushed back onto the bed, Potter leaning down over him.

He shuddered a little when he felt the swipe of Potter's tongue against his cheek. He felt like a kitten getting a bath, and quickly banished that thought from his head. There was nothing feline or animalistic about him, he was certain.

He forced himself to relax and tried to remain still as Potter's tongue dedicatedly covered the skin along his jaw, down his throat, against his chest that had been bared with a careless display of wandless magic on Potter's part.

He was only doing this to get rid of this damned chocolate bunny curse. He wasn't doing it because he liked it, and he sure wasn't writhing on the bed under the sure strokes of Potter's tongue. If he was threading his fingers through Potter's mess of hair, it was only to speed along the process so they could be done with this, not because he was trying to influence the direction of Potter's touch. And he certainly wasn't turned on by this.

Of course, he _was_ a Slytherin by nature, so he was most definitely lying.

Potter was circling his belly button now, teasing, and when stopped to look up at Draco, the look was questioning, his earlier confidence seemingly dulled.

Draco wondered what his answer was supposed to be, since he didn't even know what Potter was asking, but he did think that if Potter planned on covering his whole body, it'd take a long time, so that's what he said.

Potter's smirk was back. "It'll come off in the shower."

Draco couldn't breathe for a minute, processing what he had just heard. Then he wanted to knock the hell out of Potter and storm out of the room, only his body was too interested in staying right where it was at, thank you very much, and refused to cooperate. He did manage to keep his voice steady when he said, "You lied to me."

"I did not." Potter crawled up onto the bed next to Draco.

"Yes, you did. You said it had to be licked off."

"I didn't say anything. I was merely demonstrating one way of getting it off. Any form of water would work."

"Yes, but you implied--"

"Draco, shut up." Potter kissed him, insuring that Draco followed his command. He tasted like sweet chocolate, and a little bit like Draco, and something else underneath it all that Draco couldn't place, but he was willing to keep trying to figure it out.

Later that day, Draco stared up at the ceiling above Potter's bed, pretending to be more interested in the designs there than the naked Potter he was wrapped up with. Now he knew why Potter had been acting so nicely. Of course, he was Draco Malfoy, and anyone would want him, but he could do worse than Harry Potter. And since it didn't appear that his escape was going to happen any time soon, he wondered if anyone would mind if he passed the time between now and then right where he currently was.


End file.
